Martin Kantor: Celebrating the Life of an Accomplished Psychiatrist
Liam Smith
Before the end of Pride Month, we at Elmwood Cemetery thought it would be a fine opportunity to highlight one of the multiple LGBTQ+ individuals interred at the cemetery. The notable person we are highlighting this month is especially appropriate to highlight for this month, as not only was he himself a member of the community, but he also wrote multiple books for and about LGBTQ+ individuals, from a psychological perspective. Who am I talking about? None other than Dr. Martin Kantor.
Martin Kantor would be a practicing psychiatrist for more than 50 years. Born in 1933, Dr. Kantor would graduate from Harvard Medical School in 1958. He would operate a private psychiatry practice in Boston and New York City. While his work as a psychiatrist is certainly notable, he would become a public figure for a related part of his work, that being the many different books he wrote.
Dr. Kantor would be an accomplished writer, publishing some 20 books focusing on a variety of different topics, but all coming from his knowledge of psychiatry. Many were focused on mental health issues, such as books on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder, Depression, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Paranoia, Passive-Aggression, and more. His work on Avoidant Personality Disorder was notable at the time as very little has been written about the disorder, although many nowadays seek more modern writings on the subject.
He also published, in 2008, a book critiquing the Veterans Administration and the care they provide, written from his perspective as a psychiatrist. While he didn’t write a lot about issues of public policy, he felt so encouraged to write about the issues affecting the VA that he spent a good deal of time on the book, and remained proud of the book. In the decade after its publishing many reforms to the VA would be enacted. While it wouldn’t be accurate to say that his work on this issue alone affected these changes, he was certainly part of a large chorus of public figures who pushed for reform of the VA.
While this work in psychiatry and healthcare related works were certainly a significant part of his writing output, it would be a mistake to ignore the rest of his works. The topics that would make up the plurality of his literary output were books about LGBTQ+ issues. A gay man himself, Dr. Kantor would write about topics such as homophobia, self-acceptance, coming out and gay relationships. He would also use his voice as a psychiatrist to denounce conversion therapy. It is hardly surprising, given his work, that he was described as “ a psychiatrist specializing in gay relationships.”
While Dr. Kantor wrote a lot of materials meant to analyze and assist for other LGBTQ+ people’s mentality, he also wrote books analyzing homophobia and how it changed in response to growing cultural acceptance of Gay and Lesbian individuals. He felt that while explicit, outright homophobia had diminished in the 21st century as society grew more accepting, there is much more passive-aggressive homophobia, especially regarding attacks on civil rights that hurt LGBTQ+ people as a group, rather than individual attacks.
As he put it, “Then gays and lesbians were being hunted down and killed; today they are being targeted more as a group than as individuals. Fewer lives are being taken, more are ‘just’ being ruined.” He believed homophobia could be explained in psychological terms, as a problem that could be addressed like many disorders. Dr. Kantor wrote books on LGBTQ+ topics written for those in the community, psychiatrists treating LGBTQ+ people, as well as a book for parents of a gay son.
In addition to his private practice and prolific publishing career, Dr. Kantor would also be active in residency training programs at several hospitals, including Massachusetts General and Beth Israel in New York, and worked in higher education as Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Mount Sinai Medical School and as Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey.
In his golden years, he would live by the Jersey shore, situated around the Asbury Park and Neptune area, where he lived with his husband, Michael Carter, who was his supportive partner for decades. Before he retired he would commute from there to New York City on the weekends. So many of Dr. Kantor’s books were dedicated to his husband, and in the acknowledgements section of his book My Guy: A Gay Man's Guide to a Lasting Relationship, Dr. Kantor wrote of his husband, “I also want to thank Michael for being a combination of sympathetic ear, antidote to nerves, cure for reactive depression, and Exhibit A, who reminds me daily of the benefits and joys of a lasting relationship, and of what it was like without him.” Dr. Martin Kantor would pass away on November 12, 2021 at the age of 88 after living an accomplished life.
Sources:
Kantor, Martin. My Guy: A Gay Man’s Guide to a Lasting Relationship. Naperville, IL: Sourcebooks, 2002.
“Martin Kantor: About the Author.” Amazon. Accessed May 5, 2024. https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B001IU0MCW/about?ingress=0&visitId=1e140e12-69ab-4858-bdb8-9047a9c31bca.
“Martin Kantor MD.” Bloomsbury Publishing. Accessed June 17, 2025. https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/author/martin-kantor-md/.